Today was one of those days where I had what I like to call an "ahhha" moment. This was after calling and emailing my "sleep therapist" Kelley (Kelley lives in Dallas & her sweet mother volunteered her for this position) and after putting my friend Suzanne on the spot. "Suzanne, we are best friends right?" Yeah." "So you will be honest with me?" "Yeah." "Do you think I should do something else with Mary Stewart and her sleeping?".
Mary Stewart doesn't love to nap. She really hasn't napped well since she was about 4 months old. I feel like I have spent the last 6 months trying to turn Mary Stewart into a napper. Most recently I decided to try 1 nap a day because I was over the two 30 minute naps each day. I called Kelley for affirmation and she agreed! We have been at 1 nap for about 2 weeks and it doesn't seem to be helping! Mary Stewart ranges anywhere from 40 minutes to a little over an hour. Whether she takes 1 nap or 2 it makes for a long day. The flip side to this is that Mary Stewart is a wonderful nighttime sleeper!
Yes I have read the books, and I have to say I found Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child (this is my #1 baby book) to be the most helpful. The problem is, I have relentlessly tried all that these books say and still I am seeing no fruit! This is against my personality of do x and y and you will get z. So my "ahhha" moment today was driving after talking to Suzanne and stalking Kelley, I can't control this (Obvious right!). Now I had already resolved that my child just isn't a great napper, after all her daddy wasn't... maybe it's genetic? In many ways I have felt like I have failed my child in not being able to give her the rest she needs and have tried effortlessly to restore that. I can't. As her birthday is around the corner and I think of the future. I know this is just the beginning of many things I won't be able to control in Mary Stewart's life.
It just finally clicked today, It's not about me or what I am doing.
But because I'm what Finn (character from Glee) calls a "controlist" I will still worry over her naps (or lack there of) but I will remind myself as Kelley reminded me, naps aren't the end all be all.....
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